I Look The Series
by Christian1
Summary: One child discribe's his ordeal with the thought's of life


Author-Christian  
Rated-NC-17 & R  
Disclaimer-I only own the child and Doctor  
Distribute-Just ask  
Summary-A child's look to his parent's to be  
Sequal's? Yes I have one. If I get enough feed back to  
this I'll post I Look Up. Which might I add has a  
twist of things.  
FeedBack-Yes!  
  
  
I LOOK DOWN-  
  
  
I look down to see the man who should be my father embraced in a kiss   
with a red headed woman. Did they know? Did they know that I  
was to come soon? The path chosen?  
  
I look down some more and see the man and womanlaughing. So   
carelessly.They don't have a care to the world. Would they be  
ready for me? Would they want me, much more will they keep me?  
  
I look down again and see them kiss. They have a glow around them.   
Tonight will be the night. The night I'm created.  
  
I look down again and see them leaving in a car.  
Tonight's the night. No longer will I be in the shadow's. No longer do I need  
to dream. Tonight's the night.  
  
I look down again they have parked at the hotel. Can't keep their   
hand's off each other. Will they be ready? Tonight's the night.   
They've made their way to their room. Still kissing and petting. I wonder if  
they know? I wonder if they're ready.  
  
I look down again and see them in bed. I see her reaching her climax   
with him soon following. I hope they are ready. I watch as they sleep in each   
other'sarm's. I don't know if I should smile, or frown. I have not known them for long. Only for a few year's now. Are they ready? Will I be?  
  
I look down again. It's been nine month's now, soon I will have to go down.  
Soon I will have to meet them. Am I ready. Will they understand? It's   
almost time now, I must go. I can see my Mommy and Daddy waiting for me now. Mommy in a white gown with sweat on her face, and Daddy next  
to her telling her to breath. Are they ready? They had better be, for here I come!  
  
~*~I Look Up~*~ part~2  
  
Author-Christian  
Rateing-NC-17  
Distribute-ASK  
Disclaimer-Only own the baby  
Feedback?-YES  
Summary-This is I LOOK DOWN's sequal. I do have  
another part to this in mind. Just have to get the  
time to write it! lol. Anyway in this part Amy becomes  
alittle to jealous. Enjoy!  
  
I LOOK UP-  
I Look Down's Sequel  
  
I look up and I see them smileing down at me. Finally we're together. The three of us Daddy Mommy and Me.  
  
I look up again and see just my Mommy looking down at me.   
She's saying something I don't understand. She can'tkeep me. I'm afraid I close my eyes.  
  
I look up a few day's later at my Daddy who's smileing at me. He loves me, with him I'm not afraid. I can see the love in him.  
  
I look up later that night and see my Mommy flinging her arm's in the air.  
She's screaming at me. "He loves you more then he loves me" she say's. Who's he I say.  
  
I look up again just intime to see my Mommy smileing. This is a change she's touching my face, now she's saying goodbye.  
  
I look up again and I can now see the evil in her eyes. She's holding a pillow, slowely she bring's it down on me.  
  
I look up again and beguin to wonder. Will I be going to just "Looking Down" once again?  
  
I look up again and see my Daddy holding her. They're both crying. But Mommy's yelling at Daddy. I close my eyes.  
  
I look up again and see alot of people. People in blue, they say they are takeing my Mommy somewhere for a long time.  
  
I look up to see Daddy looking down at me. He has a smile on his face as he tell's me he loves me forever. And tell's me Mommy had to go away for a  
while, but she loves me to.   
  
I look up in a distance I hear. Mr Hardy your wife need's to be commited.   
"Oh Amy, How could you do this to us?"  
"Please Matthew, we need you to sign these release paper's."  
"Fine whatever, just help her!"  
A Door Slam's Closed.  
  
A Final time I Look Up   
And Realize Mommy was never ready for me.....  
Now it's Just Daddy and Me.  
  
  
I Look To The Left and The Right-  
  
I Look To The Right and see my Daddy sitting with his  
head in his arm's. Sad he is, all because of Mommy.  
I Look To The Left and see my Daddy again, a few  
month's have gone by..he's smiling again..  
I Look To The Right and see a new lady. Daddy say's  
she's the special lady. Our Special Lady.  
I Look To The Left and see Daddy and The Special Lady  
Kissing. Will she be our new Mommy?  
I Look To The Right and see Daddy and the Lady holding  
one another. I smile and remember how I Looked Down!  
I Look To The Left and see Daddy infront of me. He's  
saying Mommy Loves me, but can't see me anymore. I  
start to cry.  
I Look To The Right and see the Special Lady in front  
of me smiling. She tell's me her name's Krissy. I cry  
again.  
I Look To The Left and see Daddy, he's mumbling  
something to Krissy. It sounds like Will You Marry Me?  
  
I Look To The Right and see Krissy in front of me  
again. She's telling me she's my new Mommy. But I  
already have a Mommy...  
I Look To The Left and see Daddy Kissing Krissy.  
Daddy's in a suit and Krissy's in a white dress.  
What's going on?  
I Look To The Right and see a few month's later Daddy  
and Krissy are fighting. Mommy's coming to visit!!  
I Look To The Left and see MOMMY! She's come for me!  
Mommy's smiling at me, she look's like an Angel. But  
the yelling!  
I Look To The Right and see Daddy yelling at Mommy,  
Krissy's on the ground. Mommy's hit her!   
I Look To The Left and see Daddy's with Krissy.  
Mommy's looking over me, what does she have in her  
hand?  
I Look To The Right and see a PILLOW! Mommy's trying  
to hurt me again! I start to cry.  
I Look To The Left and see Daddy's been knocked out,  
Mommy must have done it. Krissy's still crying.  
I Look To The Right and see the pillow descending  
again. Is this where the time end's? I begun to yell.  
I cry out for Krissy, saying her name. My first word.  
I Look To The Left and see Krissy's up and fighting  
with my Mommy. She's hitting her with punch's,  
suddenly Mommy's out cold.  
I Look To The Right and see Daddy getting up, he  
come's to pick me up. We then leave the house with  
Krissy.  
I Look To The Left and see more flashing light's.  
They've come for Mommy again. I see her come outside  
hand's behind her.  
I Look To The Right and see Krissy going over to  
Mommy. She tell's her never to come near her family  
again. Daddy, Krissy and Me....a family?  
I Look To The Left and see the car holding Mommy drive  
off.   
I Look To The Right and see Krissy. Stretching out My  
Arm's to her, she take's me from Daddy. I hug her and  
he hugs us.  
I Look To The Left and see Krissy looking at me. She  
loves me. Not like the other lady. This is my Mommy.  
I Look To The Right one last time to see someone else  
looking down. I Smile Up To them. Knowing that they  
will soon come join me. I will have a new brother!  
I Look To The Left one last time to see soon I shall  
be Looking Ahead.  
  
I Look Around-  
  
This takes place a year after the last part.  
  
  
~*~*~*As I Sleep*~*~*~  
  
I Look Ahead to see someone looking down at me.   
I Look Ahead to see that someone coming down to me.  
I Look Ahead to see another child here with me. Who are you I ask. Maria she replied.  
I Look Ahead to see her touching my face. Trying to memorize me.  
I Look Ahead to see myself doing the same. I feel I know her, but how?  
I Look Ahead to see her floating away. Is this a dream? Who is Maria?  
I Look Ahead to see Maria cry down to me. I'm Coming Soon! She say's.   
  
~*~*~*While I'm Awake*~*~*~  
  
I Look Before me to see my new Mommy's gotten huge! Daddy's hovering over her.  
I Look Before me to see Mommy crying out in pain. Daddy's running around like mad.  
I Look Before me to see Daddy picking me up and putting me into the car. Time to go  
he say's.  
I Look Before me to see we've arrived at the big building. I came from there! I want to   
say..  
I Look Before me to see Mommy's in a wheelchair, daddy and I are by her side...  
I Look Before me to see a mountain of block's. Daddy's pacing by some door's.  
I Look Before me to see a doctor emerge from the door's. It's a girl he say's to daddy.  
I Look Before me to see Daddy picking me up, hugging me. Time to see your new   
sister he say's...Sister? I ask..  
  
*~*~*My New Sister*~*~*  
  
I Smile Down at the miracle my mommy's arm's. I'm a big brother now. Smiles around  
I Smile Down at my sister. Mommy say's her name's Maria....I remember Maria.  
I Smile Down at Little Maria. Soon I'll be sharing the stories to her...my own stories.  
  
Of how I looked Up then Down..both with a slight frown....Only Now can I Look Around....And Smile Down.  
  
I Look Forward and Behind-  
  
I Look Forward to see my little sister playing in the leaves. She's 5 now, and I'm 6.  
I Look Behind to see our Daddy and Mommy swinging on the porch swing watching   
us.  
I Look Forward to see a little red car coming down the street. As it pass's I see the  
driver...could it be?  
I Look Behind to see our parent's haven't moved. It couldn't have been her. Daddy  
would have said something.  
I Look Forward to see my sister still playing happily in the leave's, so I join her   
forgetting about the car.  
I Look Behind to see Maria sound asleep in her bed. It's dark out now.   
I Look Forward to see a shadow move across my wall. "Maria?" I ask. No one reply's.  
I Look Behind to see Maria's still asleep. Who was that then?  
I Look Forward to see Mommy Amy infront of me. "At last." She say's. What does   
she mean?  
I Look Behind to see if Maria has awaken, she has for she's gone. I hear her crying.  
I Look Forward to see Mommy Amy dragging me out the window. Your Mine! She   
Says.  
I Look Behind to see rather hopeing to see Daddy or Mommy comming..Noone does..  
I Look Forward to see the little red car....I was right...what's going to happen to me?  
I Look Behind to see Mommy Amy pushing me, she say's hurry. I am hurrying!  
I Look Forward to see her put me into the back seat, shutting the door, then get into   
the driver's seat.  
I Look Behind to see Daddy's coming! So I scream and claw at the door closest to  
me.  
I Look Forward to get smacked by Mommy Amy. Shut up brat! she scream's. I do as   
she says.  
I Look Behind to see Daddy's getting further and further away. I start to cry.  
I Look Forward to see Mommy Amy's laughing. I finally have you she yell's. I still cry.  
I Look Behind to see after an hour we've stopped. Mommy Amy gets out pulling me  
over the front seat with her. We go into this hotel. Look's dirty.  
I Look Forward to see Mommy Amy pay for a room. The guy say's they don't like kids  
she tell's them they wont even know I'm here. What will she do?  
I Look Behind to see her pushing me up the stair's. What wont she leave me alone?  
I Look Forward to see her open a room then drag me inside. She goes to a closet  
open's it then yell's for me to get in. I stand still and cry.  
I Look Behind to see the door close, she had dragged me into the closet by my hair.  
I Look Forward to see the darkness around me....I'm still crying.....this time for my   
daddy...  
  
I Look To Survive-  
  
~*~*~In A Child's Mind*~*~*~  
  
  
I Look To Remember the Past to when my dream's of a Mommy and Daddy were so real...  
I Look To Remember the Past to when Mommy loved me, she smiled at me, loved me...  
I Look To Remember the Past to when Mommy tried to hurt me..why Mommy why...  
I Look To Remember the Past to when My Old Mommy was taken away...and My New Mommy arrived.  
I Look To Remember the Past to when My Little sister Maria Looked Down at me.  
I Look To Remember the Past to when Maria came down to Mommy Daddy and me  
I Look To Remember the Past to when My Old Mommy came back for me...back for me...  
I Look To Remember the Past to when Mommy stole me, hurt me, and hide me from Daddy...  
I Look To Remember the Past to when hopefully this would be all a dream...  
  
  
~*~*~*The Darkness around him*~*~*~  
  
I Look into the Darkness seeing nothing and everything. Monster's are in here with me....  
I Look into the Darkness Mommy Amy has forgotten about me. My legs hurt.....I start to cry.  
I Look into the Darkness hour's must have passed.I'm thinking now. I've got to be strong. Mommy Krissy,Daddy where r u  
I Look into the Darkness wondering if they're coming. Am I lost forever?  
I Look into the Darkness and hear Mommy Amy talking on the phone. "You Want him back Alive?" she laughs....  
I Look into the Darkness and hear her hang up, she's coming for me......  
I Look into the Darkness she's at the door to my little room. I can see her feet, maybe she doesn't know I'm in here?  
I Look into the Darkness should I help her remember? I stick my finger's out under the door to show her.  
I Look into the Darkness waiting for her to notice my finger's. She gasps then step's on them. Mommy Krissy where r u?  
I Look into the Darkness holding my hand and crying..she hate's me still.  
I Look into the Darkness and wonder will I ever see Daddy, Mommy Krissy and Maria again....  
  
~*~*~*Pain*~*~*~  
  
I Begun to Cry as I realize she's not ever gonna let me go. I'll be trapped forever inside this closet. The night pass's to day  
I Begun to Cry as I hear her moving about, humming to herself. Finally she comm's to the door.   
I Begun to Cry as she pull's me out by my hair. Please Mommy Please just let go!  
I Begun to Cry as she pick's me up, throwing me into the bathtub.. I pass out. When I wake I have blood on my face.  
I Begun to Cry as she scream's at me to take a bath. Please I say, let me go home! She then smacks me. I shut up.  
I Begun to Cry as I'm taking this bath, I can hear someone else is in here with us. "He's taking a bath" I hear her say.  
I Begun to Cry as I hear them kiss. Crying for not to long ago I watched her and Daddy kiss, she wasn't ready.  
I Begun to Cry as I get out of the tub and get dressed. After I open the door to see Mommy Amy and the man asleep.  
I Begun to Cry as I tiptoe to the door. Not making a sound...I'm Free! I open the door little by little...  
I Begun to Cry as I close that door. I'm free! Mommy Krissy, Daddy where are you! I begun to run.  
  
~*~*~*Running from Fear*~*~*~  
  
I Begun to Run I ran out of that building she was in and down the street. Stopping at a curb.   
I Begun to Run the other direction, coming to another curb. Stopping again. I'm not allowed to cross a street alone.  
I Begun to Walk wondering how I will get home. I see a payphone and remember what Mommy Krissy told me.  
I Begun to Walk to it. Remembering how to use it like she said to. Stopping at it, I dial home. Daddy awnser's.  
I Begun to Cry as I tell him to come get me. "Shhh baby." He say's trying to calm me. "He ask's where I am."I don't know.  
I Begun to Cry as he asks if a police man is nearby. I say no. The only one by me is a woman with a lot of paint on her   
I Begun to Shiver as he tell's me to put her on the phone. I turn and ask her. She happily obliges  
I Begun to Shiver as they talk....Suddenly I hear my name being called, I turn to see Mommy Amy coming towards me  
I Begun to Run once more, leaving the woman in paint, Daddy on the phone. Run Run Run.....I begun to Run...  
  
I Try To Remember-  
  
Same as the last parts only this one is Rated R and  
has some Physical Abuse.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
I Look Back to see Amy coming after me, why me I cry,  
why me....  
I Look Forward to see a police station. Mommy showed  
me one before. I run to it.  
I Look Back to see Mommy Amy gaining on me. Must go  
faster Must go faster.  
I Look Forward to see the Police Station getting  
closer. Almost there!  
I Look Back to see Amy's arm's go around me. She's got  
me! "Mommy" I scream.  
I Look Forward to see people watching us. "Help!" I  
beg them! But Amy say's she's my Mommy and they  
believe her.  
I Look Back to see people shaking there head's as we  
pass. I cry harder. I want my parents!  
I Look Forward to see we're back at the hotel. I start  
to shake. She's going to hurt me again.  
I Look Back just intime to see the door close to her  
room. She had thrown me onto the bed.  
  
~*~*~*The Beating*~*~*~  
  
I Start to Cry as I see her pull a strap from the  
dresser. "Please dont." I beg her."I good" I tell her.  
I Start to Cry as the first blow hit's my skin. It  
hurt's so much Mommmmy Daddddddy.   
I Start to Cry as I feel blow after blow, as the strap  
hit's my skin I can feel it start to turn red and hot.  
I Start to Bleed when she starts hitting my face with  
it. The first blow hitting across my left eye.....I  
begun to shake harder  
I Start to Bleed more when she turn's me over and  
start's hitting my back. My cloth's are starting to  
tear....  
I Start to Bleed as she rip's off my shirt. She  
throw's it to the ground then hit's me one last time.  
Please make her stop...  
I Start to Shake harder as she pull's my hair. Where's  
my daddy.....why doesn't he stop her.   
I Start to Shake as I feel the strap against my  
head....it's hitting the tip of my nose....please  
stoppppppp  
I Start to Shake as I begun to enter the darkness the  
last thing I remember is the blow across my neck...  
  
~*~*~*Daddy?*~*~*~  
Day's later  
  
I Try to Forget the past few day's. It's all a blur  
anyway. Anytime I move I'm in pain...head to toe...  
I Try to Forget the pain as Amy tell's me my Daddy and  
Mommy forced her to do this to me.  
I Try to Forget the past as Amy tell's me my New Daddy  
will love me better then my old daddy....  
I Try to Remember now and then who my old Daddy and  
Mommy was....and why they didn't want me....  
I Try to Remember as Amy tell's me of the thing's we  
used to do together. Amy loves me so, I think.  
I Try to Remember the thing's to say to my New Daddy  
for when he comes.....Amy say's I have to...  
  
I Try To Go Home-  
  
Same as the others..  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
I Try to Smile as Amy clean's me up. My new daddy's  
coming today.  
I Try to Smile as I think of all the thing's my new  
Daddy and I will do...  
I Begun to Think though if there's a New Daddy...was  
there an old one? I ask Amy.  
I Begun to Think as she avoids the question. Maybe he  
got hurt and died somewhere? Is that why she wont say?  
I Try to Smile as Amy smiles down at me. "My little  
guy" she say's. For some reason I shiver.  
I Try to Smile as someone knock's on our door. My New  
Daddy's here!  
I Begun to Think as Amy let's him in. He look's so  
familiar.....who could he be?  
I Begun to Think as I watch them talk. His voice and  
walk.......I have seen and heard it before.  
I Try to Smile as Amy tell's me to come to her. She  
show's me off to the man, I feel like a prize someone  
just won.  
I Try to Smile as the man asks Amy for some tea. She  
say's she'll go out for some...leaving me with him.  
I Begun to Think as I'm alone with him. He's asking if  
I want to go home...I frown and say "I am home."  
I Begun to Think as the man examines me, the welt's,  
scratch's and bruises, now he wont want me.  
  
I Begun to Cry as he tell's me thing's. I have a  
sister Maria......where is she..  
I Begun to Cry as he pick's me up. "Im taking you  
home." He said. "Where Amy can't hurt you anymore."  
I Begun to Shake as the memories come back. The strap,  
the closet....all the pain's come back...  
I Begun to Shake as I finally knew, the man who came  
for me is a friend of my Daddy's...Shannon.  
I Begun to Cry asking for my parent's. Soon the man  
say's. Soon....  
I Begun to Cry as we leave the hotel into his truck as  
Amy comes home. She scream's and pounds on the truck..  
I Begun to Shake as Amy pull's on the door. Please  
don't let her open it. I pray...I'll be good, I  
promise...please!  
I Begun to Shake as we pull away. Tear's in my eyes,  
I'm going home today.  
  
~*~*~*Home*~*~*~  
  
I Try to Smile as we pull up to my house. I'm finally  
home.....Shannon help's me out and up to the door.   
I Try to Smile as the door open's. My family's  
inside....a woman comes into the room. Frightened I  
hide behind Shannon.  
I Start to Cry as Krissy tries to speak to me. "NOoooo  
please don't hurt me!!!!" I run to my room.  
I Start to Cry when I enter the room, straight to my  
closet for there I knew. Into the closet then will be  
the pain....Im home?  
  
I Look To See-  
  
Same as the others  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
  
  
  
I Look to See Krissy and Shannon coming into my room.  
They're talking...  
I Begun to wonder when she'll come get me...how long  
do I have to wait for it to begun  
I Look to See Krissy coming closer. "Honey please come  
out of there." She asks. I begun to cry.  
I Begun to wonder what I did that was so bad that I  
had to be punished like this...why does everyone hate  
me?  
I Look to See Shannon tell Krissy he'll stay with me  
until he comes home. Who's he? I peek out the door.  
I Begun to wonder if this he person will be my New  
Daddy? Amy said I was getting one.  
I Look to See Krissy run out of the room in tear's.  
Amy never cried..why is she? I ask Shannon. She loves  
you, he says.  
I Begun to wonder why she loved me...and if she did  
why was I hurt? Because she loved me? Was that why? I  
start to cry  
  
*~*~*An Hour Later*~*~*  
  
I Hear Noises and crawl into Shannon's lap. Shannon  
wont hurt me...he's been playing games with me. He'll  
protect me.  
I Look to See a man come running to my bedroom door,  
suddenly he run's in and picks me into a swinging hug.  
I feel safe  
I Hear Noises so I turn to see him crying. Why cry I  
ask him? I missed you son...I Love You...He replies..  
I Look to See Krissy standing with my sister Ria by  
the door. I smile at her, then climb down off of daddy  
and run to her  
I Hear Noises as she holds me in a hug, telling me she  
loves me to. Daddy comes over and pull's us all into a  
hug.  
I Look to See I'm finally safe. These people would  
never hurt me......at least I don't think they wont.  
  
  
*~*~*Later that night*~*~*  
  
I Begun to cry as Daddy help's me get ready for bed.  
He take's off my shirt and see's the welt's and  
bruises. He starts to cry  
I Begun to cry as Daddy run's his hand's lightly over  
the marks on my back. Did she do this? He asks. Yes. I  
reply.  
I Begun to cry as I turn to look at him. He's angry  
now. I cower. Your not going to hit me are you? I  
asked  
I Look to See he's now crying again, he pull's me into  
a hug and say's no. He wont ever let anyone harm me  
again.  
I Look to See how sincere he is. His eyes are strong.  
I believe what he say's.  
I Look to See out the window. Daddy and the other's  
have gone to sleep. I look at the tree by the window.  
Amy stands there. I begun to scream. She's coming for  
me!!! She's coming for ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
I Look To The Night-  
  
Same as the others  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
I Look to See Amy still standing there, she's now  
holding the strap. I scream and scream. Helppppp!  
I Look Up to see Krissy and Daddy come in. They run to  
me, it's then I see I'm sitting in my bed crying.  
I Look Down to see Krissy wrap her arm's around me.  
Shhh she say's. No one's going to hurt you we're here  
now.  
I Look To the right and see Daddy looking at Krissy.  
He's frowning at her. Did he tell her about my pain?  
I Look to See myself laying back down. I act like I'm  
asleep. But I can't sleep....Amy's here. I know it.  
I Look Up to see Krissy and Daddy talking. He's  
telling her about the pain. She's now screaming at  
him.  
I Look Down to see Ria has awaked to. She stay's quiet  
in her bed. I wonder if she knows what's happening.  
I Look to the Right and see Daddy and Krissy hugging.  
They leave the room. I look back at Ria.  
I Look to See one of my belt's laying on a chair.  
Wordlessly I stand, walk to it and start to hit myself  
with it. Ria cry's.  
I Look Up to see Daddy and Krissy coming back into the  
room. Why? Son why? Daddy asks. I woke Ria up, Punish   
me. I reply.  
I Look Down to see that I am shaking once again. Yet  
no pain comes, why doesn't he hit me?  
I Look to the Right and see Daddy crying. I go to hug  
him. I'm sorry I was bad. I say to him. Dont cry....  
I Look to See Krissy sitting with Ria on her bed.  
She's rocking Ria. I pull from Daddy.  
I Look Up to see that I feel like I shouldn't be here.  
I walk to the closet, stripping from my clothes and  
climb into it.   
I Look Down to see there's carpet on the  
floor.....soften the pain...I wonder.  
I Look to the Right and see the door to my little room  
open. I curl up into a fetal position. Daddy's opened  
the door.  
I Look to See him looking back to Krissy. What did she  
do to him? She asks Daddy. Daddy look's back at me  
with tears  
I Look Up to see him reach in for me. He has me  
standing before him now. I start to shake.  
I Look Down to wait for the pain that will be coming.  
The closet mean's Pain........  
I Look to the Right looking to see the blood  
come...like last time....  
I Look to See into my father's eyes, I don't have to  
be afraid anymore....but the pain I just can't let go.  
I hug him once more  
  
  
  



End file.
